Thoughts While Going To My First Yoga Class:   30 Minutes Beforehand: “I wonder if I will be next to someone who smells” “Is it okay to eat this cheeseburger? I’m kinda hungry” “I am so going to Eat, Pray, Love this shit out” “Maybe a yoga hottie will holla after he sees me do some stretches” "Will my Walmart sweatpants be ok?”   During the Class: “Ok, time to be quiet and relax my thoughts-- Oh wait, did I lock my door?” “Maybe I can relax and deep breathe if you stop talking, instructor” “I didn’t know this muscle existed before-what?” “This girl is wearing all Athletica outfit but I look better in Walmart sweats hahah this bitch” “Maybe I shouldn’t think ‘bitch’ during yoga class” “I can hear this guy breathing next to me, Good Lord I can’t concentrate” “This teacher wants me to bend down in ways I haven’t done in public, Jesus save me” “This girl is showing off, okay girl, we all know you are the shit” “I don’t think I’m breathing right, but this is the only way I know!” “Maybe I never have been breathing right” “Ok, I can breathe but I still don’t understand, I am exhaling!” “No yoga hotties here, I am sad” “Maybe I shouldn’t think about yoga hotties, I’m trying relax” "Do male yoga hotties even exist? Where are they?”   After the class: “Okay, I can get into this” “Maybe I need to buy cute outfits like that girl in class” “I wish my ex-boyfriend can see my new stretches, haha his loss!” “Mmm, I really want BBQ chips” “Maybe I shouldn’t get BBQ chips but get Kale Chips” “Fuck it, I’m getting BBQ chips”