Eve S. Dropper is an eighth grade drop out who furthered her education with stacks of books from the public library, faking it till she learned something and good old fashioned...
Do you have a question about consent? Confused about a reaction you got from a woman? Unsure on how to proceed, behave or ask? Haunted by a sexual encounter in your past and want perspective? Wondering how you can be a good ally to women? Ask a woman!
Ask A Woman is an anonymous advice column where I give candid, honest advice about everything from consent to dating to harassment and whatever else you people cook up. I’m providing a platform of anonymity, not so either of us can hide behind invisibility but to eliminate egos and insecurities and cut out the bullshit in an effort to perpetuate education.
There is an argument that women should not have to educate men on how to be decent human beings, that it is not our responsibility to do this emotional labor for you. I agree to some extent. But I’m offering my advice because I fear that without our help some of you will slip through the cracks because of misinformation or laziness and we will lose you. It’s worth it to me to do a bit of the emotional labor and answer your questions as best I can in the hopes that some unbiased female perspective might offer you some clarity, understanding and empathy.
It’s easier to open up to something when the fear of humiliation and rejection are reduced. With this anonymous platform you can feel free to ask anything you like. I can’t promise I won’t insult you or piss you off. If you approach me with toxic energy, sarcasm or downright stupidity I can’t pledge that my answers will not mirror yours. Furthermore, I can’t promise that all women are going to agree with what I say. I am a cis-gender, straight white woman, and though my upbringing and life were not one of privilege, my skin tone and sexuality are.
Pulling from friendships, research and basic human commiseration, I will try my damndest to be inclusive of the feelings and opinions of the LGBTQ community and people of color but I will fuck up and I hope when and if I do you will call me on it. Full disclosure, my only credentials are that I have been a woman for over 34 years but technically that makes me an expert. That and I’ve been told I give great advice, which clearly has gone to my head.
Recently Trump was quoted saying, “It’s a scary time to be a young man,” a pig headed, sexist and ridiculous statement, especially in context. But I assume for men who want to be allies to woman right now it might be a confusing time to be a man. Most men I know are just being silent right now and, though the respect is appreciated, silence and change rarely go hand in hand.
The best way to be an ally to woman is to listen to us, believe us, respect us, stand up for us and treat us as equals. I’m willing to listen to you if you are willing to take that first step and listen to me too.
Ask away, here.